Already got asked if we're dating
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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