So drunk its hurt
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
