I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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