Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
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you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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