D3 body, D1 cock
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
try to milk me bitch
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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