is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
