the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
