do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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