how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize