so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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