I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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