so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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