the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
