i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
