marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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