Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
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We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
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Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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