i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
