Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
