I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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