You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
