her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize