At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
