Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
