I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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