You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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