at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
