walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
