Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
