i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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