Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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