Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
