remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
