the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
