I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
