you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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