is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This baby is an asshole
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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