i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You've changed since you got that strap on
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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