I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
