Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
