He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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