Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
