So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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