Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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