i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
