Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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