You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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