I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
