I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
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We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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