No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
