We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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