I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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