question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
