fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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