Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
