when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
