I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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